Oaths, and the Rulings of Divorce

The sixteenth, then, concerns the basic rules governing the breaking of an oath: that oaths have their place in Islam, and that if one breaks them, this is what must be done.

The seventeenth follows from verses 226 and 227. The greatest number of verses concerning divorce, and most of its rulings, are found in Sūrat al-Baqarah — notwithstanding that there is, in the twenty-eighth juzʾ, Sūrat al-Ṭalāq, a sūrah named after ṭalāq itself. Some rules are given there, but much of what is said in it is rather a consolation of the heart; whereas here the rules of ṭalāq are set out in considerable detail.

Every Muslim would do well to go through these verses. One of the greatest difficulties we face as scholars is the matter of ṭalāq: people pronouncing divorce without consideration, willy-nilly, without understanding; and then comes the excuse — we did not know that this was a divorce, that this would amount to a divorce. It was for this reason that in the recently written Handbook of a Healthy Muslim Marriage, most of which is practical and anecdotal, drawn from cases, a section upon divorce was insisted upon, somewhat more technical, setting out all the kinds of divorce. Those who are married should certainly understand divorce, for it is a thing one would not wish to get wrong should one ever have to do it.

Allah (swt) tells us, however, that there will be cases in which the home becomes a living hell and a separation is needed. That is why divorce, where it occurs, is permitted in Islam — unlike among the Catholics, who do not permit it, and who would excommunicate from the church one who divorced, though it is a reality of life. In Islam it is permitted. And the Prophet (peace be upon him) marked it as abghaḍ al-ḥalāl: the most detested of lawful things. Many therefore suppose it unlawful to divorce, and misunderstand: it is unlawful to do it in a wrong way, but in itself it is a lawful act when it is necessary.

Nor should a man hold on to his wife where there is no possibility of reconciliation, merely holding on to her. Allah speaks of this here: they are not to be left muʿallaqah, suspended:

They are not to be held on to in order to harm them. I shall punish her for ever, so that she cannot marry another — every moment a man does that he is sinful in it. For he is withholding her right and refusing to release her. She may not wish to come; the marriage may have broken down irretrievably. They must be let go.