Remorse, and the Resolve Never to Return

The second condition is that guilt, remorse, must be felt in the heart over having committed that sin or those sins. A real feeling of guilt is needed; without remorse in the heart, a person has not truly returned from the sin. The nafs lawwāmah, as the ʿulamāʾ teach, the heart of a muʾmin, feels guilty every now and then — a natural reaction to sin, when something wrong has been done, the heart begins to agitate. That agitation, that feeling in the heart, is the indicator of remorse, of guilt over having fallen again into that stupid act — one that should not have been repeated, yet was.

The third condition is that a person must, at all costs, promise Allah (swt) and resolve, decide in the heart, never to return to that sin again. A conditional promise to Allah (swt) will not do: saying, "O Lord, until a certain date I am going to do this, but I am making tawbah anyway, and after that I will stop," is not a real condition. Nor is saying, "O Allah, I am not going to sin Monday through Friday because I am working, but on Saturday night, give me a chance" — this is not acceptable. A resolve is needed in the heart never to go back to that sin again; without that resolve, the tawbah made is not tawbah at all.