Remorse as the Threshold, and the Heart That Has Gone Numb

Rasūlullāh (peace be upon him) says: al-Ḥajju ʿArafah — Ḥajj is ʿArafah. Without ʿArafah there is no Ḥajj. Standing at ʿArafah completes the Ḥajj; a pilgrim may travel to Saudi Arabia, wear the finest iḥrām, the best perfume, and sit beside the Kaʿbah with tears streaming, but if ʿArafah is missed, there is no Ḥajj. In the same way, without remorse felt in the heart, there is no tawbah — that remorse must be felt. When it is felt, Allah (swt), as Rasūlullāh (peace be upon him) says, has already said: "I have forgiven you; come, ask for forgiveness, I have already forgiven you" — it is halfway there. But the remorse must come first in the heart. Many who sin do not feel that remorse; the heart becomes rusted, corroded, entirely dark.

Rasūlullāh (peace be upon him) says that when a Muslim commits a sin deliberately, an act of defiance against Allah (swt), Allah (swt) places a black dot on his heart. If tawbah is not made to polish and cleanse it away, it remains; another sin brings another dot, and, with tawbah, another sin, another dot — until the heart, once crystal clear and sensitive to Allah (swt) at all times, ceases to feel anything at all, and becomes numb. So numb that sin no longer troubles a person, who says: "who cares, I am already lost, I am going to Jahannam anyway." This is madness — the person is not dead yet, and the door of tawbah is always open, very wide open, always, and Allah (swt) is constantly waiting.

Rasūlullāh (peace be upon him) says that everything has something that polishes it. What polishes a stained, dirty heart? Two things: recitation of the Qurʾān, dhikr of Allah (swt), and reflection on death, tafakkur al-mawt. These bring a person back to earth, away from going mad with sin. A person warned about a sin may grow angry and defensive: "You worry about yourself — I'm all right." "Astaghfirullāh al-ʿaẓīm," comes the reply, "I am only trying to help you" — but he cannot feel it; even an āyah read to him is refused, and he tells the one warning him off. But a sincere Muslim, whose heart is sensitive, feels the warning at once and is grateful for it, resolving to correct his way.

Rasūlullāh (peace be upon him) describes the condition of a munāfiq, a fāsiq, and a believing Muslim: a Muslim who commits even a small sin feels as though he carries a huge mountain on his back, feeling its guilt, unable to live without tawbah, needing to be relieved of that burden. But a fāsiq may carry sins greater than mountains and feel no weight on his shoulders at all — because the heart has closed up, closed by sin, by ghaflah, by deliberate defiance of Allah (swt). Yet Allah (swt) always awaits His servants, asking only that they turn and ask forgiveness.