The Test of Fear, Hunger and Loss

Allah (swt) says in the Qurʾān:

Allah (swt) will test every one of us, without any exception, with some fear — whatever the form of fear — fear of every kind. Allah (swt) will test with hunger, poverty, going without, not having enough means; and Allah (swt) will test with the opposite, giving too much, and what is then done with it. Allah (swt) will test with the difficulties that might come to oneself, or to one's property — in order to test who is obedient to Allah (swt) and who is not, who are the ṣābirīn, patient, and who are not patient. Allah (swt) says, and glad tidings, good news, to those people who show ṣabr. This is the gift from Allah (swt).

In a well-known ḥadīth qudsī, Allah (swt) says, as related by His Prophet (peace be upon him): kulli ḥasanatin bi-ʿashri amthālihā ilā sabʿi miʾati ḍiʿfin, illā al-ṣiyām, fa-innahu lī wa anā ajzī bihi. In the sight of Allah (swt), every good deed has a reward chart: the ratio is, at minimum, one good deed for ten rewards, up to a ratio of one to seven hundred — one good deed done, and Allah (swt) gives seven hundred rewards for it. But, He says, for ṣiyām, for fasting, which is nothing but a pure exercise in ṣabr, Allah (swt) says that particular fast is for Him, and only He will give the reward for it. It is not written in the books; it is off the charts, for making ṣabr — because of what is being held during the day. "Allah, I am so thirsty, so thirsty, so weak, so hungry — I cannot drink, I cannot eat." Why? Because it is a fast. For this, Allah (swt) says: for holding oneself back from eating and drinking, which is normally ḥalāl, but during the month of Ramadan is ḥarām — an exercise in taqwā, self-restraint, godfearingness and piety — Allah (swt) says this ḥasanah, this exercise in ṣabr, is for Him, and He alone shall give the reward for it.

Everything in Islam has a chart, a tag, a price tag — a ḥasanah tag. Any good deed done has something written: an angel checks it, five thousand, what is this one, seven million, māshāʾAllāh, what is this one, five — no, five, minimum ten — but this one has nothing. Is it possible? Yes, it is possible. One day Rasūlullāh (peace be upon him) was leading ṣalāh, and someone behind him, within the jamāʿah, was also praying; when Rasūlullāh (peace be upon him) rose from rukūʿ and said, as is said, Rabbanā laka al-ḥamd, the congregation said Rabbanā laka al-ḥamd, and one person said Rabbanā laka al-ḥamd, ḥamdan kathīran ṭayyiban mubārakan fīh. After the salām, Rasūlullāh (peace be upon him) said: who said that? The man felt so embarrassed — did I do something wrong? — and said: it was me, O Messenger of Allah. He said: glad tidings to you — such words, such words, all praising Allah (swt), that the angels were completely lost, baffled; they did not know what to write, because they had never heard such a thing before, and did not know what to do. They went and asked Allah (swt): we do not know what to write, it is not in the charts, nothing in the list of ḥasanāt — what do we write? He said: "Write it as it is; I will give the ḥasanah for it."

Similarly, one day a person left his home with the intention, saying: "I am going to go to the house of Allah, to Masjid al-Nabawī, the masjid of Rasūlullāh (peace be upon him), and I am going to praise Allah (swt) in such a praise as He has never before been praised." What a claim. He came into the middle of the masjid and said: yā Rabbī, laka al-ḥamd kamā yanbaghī li-jalāli wajhika wa li-ʿaẓīmi sulṭānik. Rasūlullāh (peace be upon him) heard this and said: come here — do you know what has just happened? The angels have lost their pens and papers; they are completely lost, they did not know what to do, they are completely at a loss; they were asking, what do we do now, we cannot fulfil our function as an angel, we have to write this ḥasanah, it is off the charts, how much do we give, how much do we write? They went and asked Allah (swt). Allah (swt) said: write it as it is, I shall give it to him — without any number attached to it.

It is said that on the Day of Judgement, when a Muslim's good deeds and bad deeds are weighed together, and he looks at them, he says: oh no, I cannot see where this is going, oh no — a few more things, a couple more cents. Sometimes, when one goes to a shop, the cashier names a figure — twenty dollars and fifteen cents — and only fifteen dollars is on hand: another pocket is checked, another twenty cents found; another pocket, another twenty cents; another dollar somewhere — come on, come on, come on — after so many come-ons, it is still eighteen dollars fifteen, still missing a few more dollars. Sorry — it is simply left there in that embarrassment, until more money can be found. On the Day of Judgement, when the good deeds and bad deeds are being weighed before Allah (swt), and one looks and sees, oh no, what am I going to do, what am I going to do — the worst possible nightmare — the bad deeds are heavier than the good deeds, and the heart is racing, waiting for the judgement, not knowing what Allah (swt) is going to say, because, according to ʿaqīdah, if the good deeds are even a single ḥasanah heavier than the bad, Allah (swt) will forgive; but here it is the opposite. "Oh no," the thought comes, "I am doomed, I am gone." Right at that moment, someone says: hold on, there is another special favour from Allah (swt) to be placed on the scale, on the good side of the servant. What? Like finding new money? What is it? A single piece of paper is placed on that scale, and it strikes the bottom — the good deeds are heavier than everything else. What was that? Allah (swt) says: "This was the promise made for your ṣabr, for your fasting — I told you, in the ḥadīth qudsī, that fasting is for Me, for Me; you held back, you restrained yourself, you restrained your desires, and did not eat, did not drink, did not enjoy yourself, for Me, and I promised you that only I would give the ḥasanah for it. This is My gift to you — now go to Jannah."