Sabr in Islamic Law: Obligatory, Recommended, Disliked and Forbidden

The ʿulamāʾ speak of different types of ṣabr in terms of Islamic ruling, in fiqh: there are fardh types of ṣabr, mustaḥabb types, makrūh types, and there are indeed ḥarām types.

According to the sharīʿah, for a person to stop himself, to keep away from the ḥarām desires of the nafs al-ammārah — any form of ḥarām, which is very clear in Islam — to show ṣabr toward it, continually resisting the wish to do ḥarām, is fardh. To keep away from the ḥarām of Allah (swt) when the nafs wants it is absolutely fardh; there is no way about it. Disobeying, and continuing in it, is sinning also for not having this ṣabr toward the ḥarām of Allah (swt).

For example, a person used to drink before becoming a practising Muslim, or before becoming Muslim at all, and was an alcoholic; then, all of a sudden, in a moment — perhaps for the sake of convenience, wanting to marry a Muslim woman — he became Muslim. Each time he passes in front of a pub, and catches the smell, the thought comes: "What am I going to do — my wife is not here, let me take a glass." To keep away from this particular ḥarām, and so to show ṣabr toward it, is fardh.

There is a group of people in Turkey called the Baktashis, a form of ʿAlawī, very well known for their drinking habits. One of them decided to put an end to his bad habit of drinking: no more, he said, I do not want to drink any more. His habit had been, every day after work, to go to the local pub with his friends and drink ḥarām, whatever it was he drank, and to go home afterward, usually drunk. Having promised himself he would not drink, he said, the only challenge before him that afternoon, before he left work, was to pass in front of the door of that pub without going inside; if he managed this, that would be the greatest achievement, the best thing for him — it would mean he had shown ṣabr. So he walked toward home, and had to pass through by the pub. He took one step; each step brought him closer, his heart pounding, boom, boom; he was excited, nervous, asking himself how he would manage it. He drew closer to the pub — one step, two steps, three steps — and passed the door of the pub; five steps further on he stopped and said, that's good, excellent — now let's go back inside and celebrate. This was good exercise in ṣabr, he said, let's go inside and celebrate. This is not ṣabr, this is stupidity — as a joke it can be understood: no ʿaql, no intellect, in this man.

Ṣabr is when the urges of the nafs are present and are stopped. Someone suffering from a secret gambling habit, unknown to his children, his wife, his parents, with the temptation returning again and again, and able each time to stop himself — this is ṣabr. The same applies to zinā, fornication, adultery, and the many forms of ḥarām people commit: making naṣīḥah to one's own nafs, telling it — listen, one minute of pleasure, and thousands of years of the ʿadhāb of Jahannam; do not be foolish; a couple of minutes of pleasure, and years of feeling rotten inside; do not be foolish, come to your senses. This is talking to one's nafs — but when a person is young, when the hormones are raging, when the temptation is present, it is very difficult. Whatever a person's particular weakness, Allah (swt) will test him through it, and for this reason each person needs to recognise his own weakness in respect of the ḥarām, and needs to keep away from it. This kind of keeping away, showing ṣabr toward the temptations of the nafs, is fard upon every Muslim.

Secondly, the mustaḥabb type of ṣabr — praiseworthy, truly good ṣabr, earning a great deal of ḥasanāt for whoever practises it — concerns the balāʾ, the affliction, the tribulation that comes one's way unexpectedly, something not being anticipated, all of a sudden: a wife has died, subḥānAllāh; a husband has had a heart attack; a child has died; a car accident has occurred; a beautiful car is gone, without insurance; one comes home to find the house burned down; some balāʾ of this world, having nothing to do with one's dīn, nothing to do with the temptation of this world — something entirely beyond one's control, part of the qaḍāʾ and qadar of Allah (swt): a diagnosis of some disease, some sickness, some difficulty. To show ṣabr toward these tests from Allah (swt) is mustaḥabb — highly meritorious, highly virtuous, and abundant ḥasanāt are earned for this kind of forbearance, this kind of perseverance, this kind of patience.

The makrūh type of ṣabr — disliked, abhorred, close to ḥarām, not of the sunnah of Rasūlullāh (peace be upon him) — is defined by the ʿulamāʾ in their books in cases such as this: someone who is feared, someone powerful in the community, someone who has the upper hand, looks at one's wife, perhaps one's daughter, with an evil eye, a ḥarām, lustful eye, and it can be seen — he is simply looking, looking at them — and it disturbs deeply inside, yet nothing can be said, out of fear he might do something, might have one sacked; being so afraid, because of the circumstances, that ṣabr is shown toward this particular man, this particular authority, this particular person with the power who is abusing it. He is not touching the children or the wife or anything of the kind — only looking, only looking. This type of ṣabr is called makrūh, disliked ṣabr, not good ṣabr, but there is nothing to be done about it: to do something would bring great trouble from this person.

The ḥarām type of ṣabr is this: the same kind of example — knowing that a child is being abused, that somebody is doing ḥarām to one's family, and knowing this, and, in order not to rock the boat, in order not to be in trouble with people, in order to avoid gossip and talk in the community, showing ṣabr toward the despicable act. There is domestic violence, there is child abuse, there is ḥarām activity going on, sexual abuse going on within the family, or within the neighbourhood, within one's own family — and keeping silent about this, thinking this is ṣabr, is in fact a ḥarām form of ṣabr. There is something wrong with a person who does this; on the Day of Judgement he will answer for it. This is not ṣabr, this is stupidity — this is how the ʿulamāʾ define this kind of ṣabr. Extreme care must be taken with this concept of ṣabr: ḥarām, absolutely ḥarām. Fardh, mustaḥabb, makrūh, and ḥarām types of ṣabr — may Allah (swt), inshāʾAllāh, make His servants among the ṣābirīn.