"Keep Away From Your Wife"

Ḥattā idhā maḍat arbaʿūna laylatan min al-khamsīn, idhā rasūlu Rasūli Allāhi yaʾtīnī fa-qāla: inna Rasūla Allāhi yaʾmuruka an taʿtazila imraʾatak. Fa-qultu: uṭalliquhā am mādhā afʿal? Qāla: lā, bal iʿtazilhā wa lā taqrabhā. Wa arsala ilā ṣāḥibayya mithla dhālik. Fa-qultu li-mraʾatī: ilḥaqī bi-ahliki fa-takūnī ʿindahum ḥattā yaqḍiya Allāhu fī hādhā al-amr. When forty of the fifty nights had passed, a messenger from the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) came to me and said: the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) orders you to keep away from your wife. Kaʿb ibn Mālik said: shall I divorce her, or what shall I do? He said: no, but keep away from her — meaning he could not touch her. And he sent the same message to my two companions. So I told my wife: go and stay with your family, with your parents, until Allah decides this matter.

Kaʿb said: the wife of Hilāl ibn Umayyah, one of the three, came to the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) and said: O Messenger of Allah, Hilāl ibn Umayyah is a lost old man. Does that strike one? Hilāl ibn Umayyah was a lost old man. Does that strike one at all? What is being spoken of here? People who stayed behind from what? These were people who stayed behind from fighting — actual war, battle. And she says that her husband is a lost old man. So, subḥān Allāh, here was a lost old man, and nevertheless the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) boycotted him, and ordered the Muslims to boycott him, because the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) considered that this man had no excuse. So what excuse do the young, fit, able men have? If Hilāl ibn Umayyah was not excused, what excuse does anybody else have?

So the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) was asked by this woman. She said: fa-hal takrahu an akhdumah? — he is a lost old man; will you allow me to serve him? He said: lā, wa lākin lā yaqrabanniki — no, but do not let him come near you; meaning he could not sleep with her. She said: innahu wa-llāhi mā bihi ḥarakatun ilā shayʾ, wa-llāhi mā zāla yabkī mundhu kāna min amrihi mā kāna ilā yawmihi hādhā — by Allah, he has no desire for anything; since this matter began, he has been weeping until this very day. He is not thinking about his wife. And this also shows that even though these men stayed behind, their hearts were alive. Because the munāfiq stays behind and does not care about it; he does not even think about it; he thinks that he has done the right thing; he believes that he has done the wise thing; he thinks that he is intelligent and smart — he did not get himself into trouble. That is how the munāfiq thinks. But the believer realises his mistake, because his heart is awake; and even though he has committed the mistake, it is burning him deep inside. He had been weeping for forty days.

Some of my family members said: why do you not ask the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) to allow your wife to stay with you, just as he allowed the wife of Hilāl ibn Umayyah? He said: no, I am not going to do that, because I do not know what the Messenger of Allah would tell me, when I am a young man.