Ibn al-Qayyim's Lessons

To close, some benefits mentioned by Ibn al-Qayyim in his book Zād al-Maʿād. He says: jawāzu ikhbāri al-rajuli ʿan tafrīṭih — it is allowed for a person to speak about his shortcomings. Because it is known that in Islam you are not supposed to speak about your sins as long as Allah has given you sitr: as long as they are concealed, you should keep them concealed. However, here one sees that Kaʿb ibn Mālik spoke about some of his shortcomings. Why? Because there was a benefit in it: because they were known, and there is a benefit — there are lessons to be learned. So he spoke about them, and he was honest about them in this narration.

Second: jawāzu madḥi al-rajuli nafsah — it is allowed for a person to praise himself, or to speak about some good things about himself. However, this is restricted; it is not open-ended, because it is known that a person is not supposed to praise himself or speak about his own good. However, one sees here that Kaʿb ibn Mālik did speak about some of the good he had done — for example, when he mentioned that he had been in every battle of the Messenger of Allah except Badr, and that he had attended al-ʿAqabah. But Ibn al-Qayyim says: jawāzu madḥi al-insāni nafsahu bi-mā fīhi min al-khayri idhā lam yakun ʿalā sabīli al-fakhri wa al-taraffuʿ — it is allowed as long as it is not done out of pride and self-exaltation.

Bayʿatu al-ʿAqabati min afḍali mashāhidi al-ṣaḥābah: that the pledge of al-ʿAqabah is one of the best occasions — among the best occasions — of the Companions (may Allah be pleased with them), because he used to see it as equal to Badr.

Al-mubādaratu ilā intihāzi furṣati al-ṭāʿah. This is one of the most important lessons Ibn al-Qayyim mentions: hasten to take advantage of the opportunities for good that open up for you. Allah (ʿazza wa jall), at certain moments of your life, will open up doors of opportunity for you to do good. These doors of opportunity come and go; and sometimes, if they go, they go for good; and if you do not take advantage of them, you will miss them for ever. Kaʿb ibn Mālik had an opportunity that opened up for him to take part in Tabūk, and he missed it. So one of the important lessons — because he says: yā laytanī faʿalt, I wish that I had done so — is: do not sit back and then say, I wish I had done so. Take advantage of the good that comes to you from Allah. And sometimes, if you reject these opportunities, the consequences can be very bad. Allah (ʿazza wa jall) says, in verse 24 of Sūrat al-Anfāl:

O you who have believed, respond to Allah and His Messenger when he calls you to that which gives you life; and know that Allah intervenes between a man and his heart, and that to Him you will be gathered. Allah may come between you and your heart, and prevent you from joining the next time. Do not delay; do not stay behind; take advantage of the opportunities that open up for you. O you who have believed, respond to Allah and His Messenger when he calls you to that which gives you life; and know that Allah intervenes between a man and his heart. And Allah (ʿazza wa jall) says, in Sūrat al-Anʿām, verse 110:

And We will turn away their hearts and their eyes, just as they refused to believe in it the first time. The first time they refused; Allah turns away their hearts and their eyes. Subḥān Allāh, we need to be very careful. And Allah (ʿazza wa jall) says: fa-lammā zāghū azāgha Allāhu qulūbahum, wa Allāhu lā yahdī al-qawma al-fāsiqīn (61:5) — and when they deviated — an opportunity for truth had opened up — when they deviated, Allah caused their hearts to deviate. And He said, in verse 115 of Sūrat al-Tawbah:

And Allah would not let a people stray after He has guided them until He makes clear to them what they should avoid. So Allah makes clear to them what they should avoid: they were given the opportunity of good; indeed, Allah is Knowing of all things. So they were given the opportunity of good, and they turned away from it, and then Allah led them astray.

Next lesson: lam yakun yatakhallafu ʿanhu illā munāfiqun aw maʿdhūrun aw man khallafahu al-nabiyy. Ibn al-Qayyim says: the only ones who stayed behind from him were the munāfiqūn, or those who were excused, or those whom the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) appointed to stay behind. So it is a sign of nifāq not to take part in fighting for the sake of Allah.

Jawāzu al-ṭaʿni fī al-rajuli bi-mā yaghlibu ʿalā ijtihādi al-ṭāʿini ḥamiyyatan aw dhabban ʿan Allāhi wa rasūlih — it is allowed to speak against a person if it is out of ijtihād, for the sake of defending Allah and His Messenger. And this is what the scholars of hadith used to do when they spoke about some of the narrators: it was because they wanted to protect the religion of Allah, to protect the hadith of the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him). So when the man of Banū Salimah spoke against Kaʿb ibn Mālik, that was the intention. And it is also allowed to answer back when you think that the person is good, as Muʿādh ibn Jabal did.

Al-ḥukmu bi-al-ẓāhir: we judge according to what is apparent. Tarku raddi al-salāmi ʿalā man aḥdatha ḥadathā: it is allowed to refuse to return the greeting of a person who has committed a ḥadath. If a person has committed a bidʿah or a great sin, and you refuse to return his greeting in order to reprimand him, as naṣīḥah for him, then it is allowed, because the Muslims and the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) were not returning the greeting of Kaʿb ibn Mālik. Now this should not be carried too far — that whenever you have a disagreement with a person, you start finding out what mistakes he made and then use that as a pretext for not speaking to him and not giving him salām. Obviously there are some rules and regulations that govern this.

Tawfīqu Allāhi li-Kaʿbin wa ṣāḥibayh: Allah guided Kaʿb and his two companions, and that was because of their truthfulness. Jawāzu al-hajri li-al-taʾdīb: it is allowed to boycott a person if it is done as naṣīḥah, as advice, for him to leave a particular sin or a particular bidʿah. Al-tanakkuru wa al-waḥshatu dalīlun ʿalā ḥayāti al-qalb: when you feel pain in your heart, and when you feel forsaken, that is a sign of a heart that is alive. A person who is a munāfiq does not feel that. Kaʿb ibn Mālik and his companions felt the effect of the boycott, and they felt the difference in the way people were treating them; but the munāfiqūn do not care; it does not matter to them.

Dukhūlu dāri al-ṣāḥibi min ghayri idhn: you can enter your friend's house without his permission, as long as you know that he does not mind — because Kaʿb ibn Mālik climbed the wall and entered the property of Abū Qatādah. Obviously, this is if you are not going to end up seeing something ḥarām. When Kaʿb entered Abū Qatādah's property, obviously there was not going to be any woman without her hijab or the like. So this refers, for example, to a friend who is a bachelor, and you know that he would not mind your entering his house; then you could do so.

Kāna al-sujūdu li-al-shukri min ʿādati al-ṣaḥābah: it was the habit of the Companions to make a sujūd of thanks when they received good news. This is something one is allowed to do: when one receives good news, one may make sujūd to Allah (ʿazza wa jall). Itlāfu mā yukhshā minhu maḍarratun fī al-dīn: destroy the things you believe are going to harm you in your religion — because Kaʿb ibn Mālik destroyed the letter he received from the king of Ghassān. Yawmu tawbati al-muslimi khayru al-ayyām: the day of your repentance is your best day. Surūruhu bi-tawbati Allāhi ʿalā al-mukhallafīn: the happiness and pleasure the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) felt when he knew that Allah had forgiven those who stayed behind — and this shows the care the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) had for the ummah. Istiḥbābu al-ṣadaqati ʿinda al-tawbah: when you make repentance, it is good to give out ṣadaqah fī sabīl Allāh; so when you repent from a sin, give out ṣadaqah.

And then he finally closes with the virtues of truthfulness and the virtues of tawbah. This is the end of the great and wonderful story of Kaʿb ibn Mālik (may Allah be pleased with him). One should go back to al-Bukhārī and read the hadith again, and think about it, and think about its implications. We ask Allah (ʿazza wa jall) to guide us to the truth, and to show us the truth, and to make us of those who follow it.