Aqida Tahawiyya, Lesson 4: Decree, Provision and the Window of Free Will
Section 18 of 19 · Aqeedah · Mufti Abdul Rahman Mangera
Family Members and Sūrat al-Nisāʾ
Aside from showing good akhlāq, how should one respond to family members who have deviant ʿaqīdah and understanding, and who always try to give their daʿwah to oneself and one's family? Really, if it ends up in debate — especially with family members — it just causes a lot of problems. Here it is kindness, and making duʿāʾ for them. Sometimes it may take years for anything to change, and sometimes things may never change. It may be a challenge for life. It may be just a circle of testing that Allah (swt) wants to put us through; His wisdom, for the way it is. The main thing is that good character always helps, and it always wins through; so we pray to Allah (swt) that that happens.
Related to point 26 — He afflicts whomever He wills by His justice — is the question of how to reconcile verses 78 and 79 of Sūrat al-Nisāʾ, where the one verse says, "All things are from Allah," and the next verse says, "Whatever of good reaches you is from Allah, and whatever of evil befalls you is from yourself."
أَيْنَمَا تَكُونُوا۟ يُدْرِككُّمُ ٱلْمَوْتُ وَلَوْ كُنتُمْ فِى بُرُوجٍ مُّشَيَّدَةٍ ۗ وَإِن تُصِبْهُمْ حَسَنَةٌ يَقُولُوا۟ هَـٰذِهِۦ مِنْ عِندِ ٱللَّهِ ۖ وَإِن تُصِبْهُمْ سَيِّئَةٌ يَقُولُوا۟ هَـٰذِهِۦ مِنْ عِندِكَ ۚ قُلْ كُلٌّ مِّنْ عِندِ ٱللَّهِ ۖ فَمَالِ هَـٰٓؤُلَآءِ ٱلْقَوْمِ لَا يَكَادُونَ يَفْقَهُونَ حَدِيثًا مَّآ أَصَابَكَ مِنْ حَسَنَةٍ فَمِنَ ٱللَّهِ ۖ وَمَآ أَصَابَكَ مِن سَيِّئَةٍ فَمِن نَّفْسِكَ ۚ وَأَرْسَلْنَـٰكَ لِلنَّاسِ رَسُولًا ۚ وَكَفَىٰ بِٱللَّهِ شَهِيدًا
“Wherever you will be, Death will overtake you, even though you are in fortified castles.” If some good comes to them, they say, “This is from Allah.” But if some evil visits them, they say, “This is from you.” Say, “All is from Allah.” So, what is wrong with these people, they do not seem to understand anything? Whatever good comes to you, it is from Allah and whatever evil visits you, it comes from your own selves. We have sent you to be a Messenger for the people. Allah is enough to be a witness.” (4:78–79)
That is a very interesting point, and it is very clearly explained by the ʿulamāʾ: according to the adab, we do not say that evil is from Allah; we blame ourselves for the evil that comes to us. But at the same time, Allah clarifies in the beginning that all things are from Allah. So one is speaking about the reality of the matter, and the other is speaking about the etiquette of how to deal with it.
The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: al-khayru kulluhu minka, wa-l-sharru laysa ilayk**. This means that all good is from You, but the sharr, the evil, is not imputed to You. This means that we do not project that on Allah, though He is the Creator of everything. It is just the adab that Allah is showing in the Qur'an. In one place He is telling us the reality, that everything is from Allah; in the other verses He is showing us the adab, that it is not spoken of in this way.