The Patience of the Women

Examples of the patience of the ṣaḥābiyāt, may Allah be pleased with them, follow. Ṣafiyyah, sister of Ḥamzah, on being told that Ḥamzah was killed, wanted to go and look at his body, and the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) told al-Zubayr to go and stop her. So al-Zubayr stopped her, but she pushed him aside and said, "Why are you stopping me? I have been told how my brother has been mutilated, and that was in Allah's cause — and that fact has comforted me. I will keep myself under control, and bear it, if Allah wills." Ḥamzah had indeed been mutilated badly: his nose, his ears, his private parts had been cut, his stomach and chest opened, so he was badly disfigured. Still she insisted on seeing him, and the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) let her see him. She went and stood over the body of Ḥamzah, may Allah be pleased with him, looked at him, said a prayer over him, asked forgiveness for him, and then spoke the words, "Innā lillāhi wa-innā ilayhi rājiʿūn — to Allah we belong, and to Him do we return." This is how she dealt with the calamity of losing her brother, and of seeing him in that condition. It is worth taking a moment to think about the meaning of these words. This is what is said when a calamity befalls a person: innā lillāh, we belong to Allah — meaning, if one has lost a loved one, that loved one belongs to Allah, and if anything is thought to belong to oneself in this world, no, one's own self and one's own belongings belong to Allah, the Almighty and Glorious. And if that is the case, then it is the owner who has the right to call in his property and claim it whenever he wants: if Ḥamzah belongs to Allah, then Allah is the one who has the right to call him in whenever He wants. It is very important for a person to realise that one might have wealth in hand now, one might have a family one considers to be one's own family, but in reality all of this is the property of Allah, the Almighty and Glorious. And then, wa-innā ilayhi rājiʿūn: everyone is going to go back to Him. Eventually, everyone is going to go back to Him, so this should not make so much difference if it happens today or tomorrow, because it is going to happen regardless.

Another example is Ḥamnah bint Jaḥsh, sister of ʿAbdullāh ibn Jaḥsh, may Allah be pleased with him. Her father also died, and her husband, Muṣʿab ibn ʿUmayr, died, so she lost the three closest men to her. She was there with the army, delivering water, but when the news was brought to her that her father had passed away, she said, "Innā lillāhi wa-innā ilayhi rājiʿūn." She was composed. They told her that her brother ʿAbdullāh had died, and she was also calm, and said the same words, patient. Then they said her husband Muṣʿab had died, and then she screamed. When the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) saw that, he said, "A husband alone has control over part of his wife's feelings" — a narration recorded through Ibn Māja. So the husband holds a special place with his wife, which is why she remained composed on hearing of her father and brother, but when she heard the news of her husband, that was too much, and she broke down. When they asked her why, she said it was because she remembered that her children would be orphaned. The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) made duʿāʾ for her.

Another example is an Anṣārī woman^*** who lost her husband, brother and father. They came to her and said, "Your husband, brother and father were killed." She said, "And how is the Messenger of Allah?" They said, "He is fine, just as you might wish." She said, "Show him to me — I want to see him." And when the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) was pointed out to her, she said, "Every loss other than you is trivial." Much is said about love for the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him), and much is said about sacrifice, yet these remain intangible, theoretical concepts until one sees how the Companions lived them. Whoever wishes to know what it means to love the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) need only look at this woman: she receives the news of the death of her husband, father and brother, and thinks only of the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) — how is he? And when she knows he is alive, she wants to see him, to satisfy her eyes with a glimpse of him. And then she says: everything, everything is trivial as long as you are well. This is what it means to love the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him). May Allah, the Almighty and Glorious, make us among those who love Him, and love His Messenger, and love the Companions of the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him).