The Children of Jaʿfar

The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) visited the children of Jaʿfar ibn Abī Ṭālib — the cousin of the Messenger of Allah, the brother of ʿAlī ibn Abī Ṭālib — and he told their mother to bring the children. Asmāʾ said: I had already cleaned them and oiled them, washed them and bathed them. So they came to the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him), and he hugged them, and tears were welling up in his eyes. So Asmāʾ said: something has happened. The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said: yes; Jaʿfar has been killed. She screamed when she heard the news, and the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) told her: I am their walī in the dunyā and the Ākhirah — I am their friend in the dunyā and the Ākhirah; I will take care of them in the dunyā and the Ākhirah. This is an honour for the children of Jaʿfar ibn Abī Ṭālib (may Allah be pleased with him).

There are some lines of poetry that Asmāʾ said, lamenting the loss of her husband, Jaʿfar ibn Abī Ṭālib. Asmāʾ bint ʿUmays said: I swear my soul will never cease to be sad over you, and my skin will always wear dust. No one ever saw the like of him, a hero who persisted so valiantly in the fray. These words of Asmāʾ show her sorrow over the loss of her husband.

After the end of her ʿiddah — the waiting period a wife is required to observe after she becomes a widow before she is allowed to marry again — she was approached by Abū Bakr al-Ṣiddīq, and she agreed to marry him. ʿAlī ibn Abī Ṭālib was invited to the walīmah, and he asked Abū Bakr's permission to speak to Asmāʾ — Asmāʾ was the wife of his deceased brother. Abū Bakr gave him permission, so ʿAlī ibn Abī Ṭālib spoke to her from behind a curtain. He said: who is the one who said, I swear my soul will never cease to be sad over you, and my skin will always wear dust? He was reminding her of the lines she had said about Jaʿfar — because there she says that she will continue being sad for him, and now here she is getting married to Abū Bakr. She said: away with you, Abū al-Ḥasan; you are always joking.

Abū Bakr had a child from Asmāʾ, Muḥammad. And then when Abū Bakr died, Asmāʾ bint ʿUmays married ʿAlī ibn Abī Ṭālib, so Muḥammad ibn Abī Bakr was brought up in the house of ʿAlī ibn Abī Ṭālib, and they had a very strong relationship. Muḥammad was a staunch supporter of ʿAlī ibn Abī Ṭālib, and he became a governor for ʿAlī ibn Abī Ṭālib over Egypt. And then later on, in the events that occurred after that, in the war between ʿAlī ibn Abī Ṭālib and Banū Umayyah, Egypt fell, and Muḥammad ibn Abī Bakr was chased down to the Ṣaʿīd of Egypt, where he was eventually killed. But until the end he was a defender of ʿAlī ibn Abī Ṭālib.

One thing to notice here is that with the early Muslims, no Muslim sister would be left behind. If she was divorced, she would be married; if she was widowed, she would be married; they would not leave a Muslim sister alone. And this tradition cannot be revived except if polygamy is promoted and accepted. It is important for every Muslim man and woman to be part of a family; that is part of our make-up, to be part of a family. So the Muslims in those days would marry a Muslim sister whether she was divorced; they would marry her if she was widowed; they would marry her if she was old. Now we have so much taboo about a lot of issues. First of all, polygamy has become unacceptable; marrying an older sister is something that many brothers see as unacceptable; marrying a woman who is divorced or widowed is also avoided. And this is not the proper, acceptable social life for Muslims.